Wednesday, March 20 Hey Mr. Webb! I read ourblog, but most of the time I don't post. Especially since most of my posts have been more personal - those go to my blog. I'm sorry I missed your question before. Is there anything in particular that you wanted to know about the Blue Lights in the Basement parties? You can e-mail me privately ...
Hey Ryan, I know you're finally here in the Big City! Alvin called me and gave me your number, so I'm going to call you soon. posted by Donald Andrew Agarrat @ 11:01 AM [ e : w ]
Monday, March 18 donald, are u reading any of this stuff? i ask, cause, i asked you a question a couple of weeks ago, and i've rec'd no reply..i guess either the question was too stupid for a reply, or u don't actually read this stuff, or least not my random postings.. i guess this too is a test..to see if u respond. any how..take care.. oh, the question..it was re: your blue lights basement? parties.. i have access to a very nice cafe in the mission area of san francisco, to host as i see fit a once a month party..at night..and i'm wanting new ideas..esp., wit these 'jaded' ho's in san francisco, particularly black boys..(men.)
the silence btw conversations is both unnerving and bliss the explosions i feel responsible for igniting are probably more implosions sooner and i didn't ignite so much as add to the existing charge.. esp., wit re: to peter, kaya, and joel. i don't blame peter, we simply smell each other's heat.. whenever i'm around that boy, i'm charged so much so later almost immediatly after he's gone.. i have to 'bust a nut' no if's, or's, but's about it.. i have to let that seed fly..hard that boy really turns me on..even just the thought of him..his being.. and my balls tingle.. my cock slowly rises.. hard within minutes..i'm groping an playing wit myself..think'n of him.. his face, smile, color, body hair.. the entire fame of the boy..becomes sensual landscape.. for that reason.. kaya and i are not operating from the same page.. stalled introductions, too close associations, too similar the baggage..not mine and his but his and my ex esp., on the social network ting.. in any case.. when friction is the root of our relating..then really we don't relate..and i think both of us wanted to relate.. for different reasons..but to the same center.. distrust, of motivations and desire he kisses on me..esp., aft he is drunk (or relative to high on wine) i become more distant as i get more high.. and feel less intimate as if i don't really want the affection.. when really i do..just not from him like i had hoped.. which follows the ting wit my ex.. since i started talking to kaya.. and shortly aft talking to juba (my ex's associate) i suddenly receive a cryptic linkx2 e-mail from the boy calling himself Slade King [ququm@hotmail.com]..in hot mail..as a smutt peddler..whatever.. i don't want nothing.. and i feel based on the e-mail, he don't want nothing either.. how could he jump'n back at me with the same empty, vauge, non sense association.. like try'n to give me a lead on house music..sites when we have no dialouge on anything.. let alone music.. sure, call it a simple jesture, an act of testing the water..without stirring it too much.. which for my mind..is like stay out of the water.. it might be way too deep for your little test.. too cold, or someting.. but a little test won't really let you know..you got to jump in a major way to really know the water..
