Wednesday, February 27 It's been too long since I've posted here. (Thank you, Ronn, for the Birthday Blessing!)
It's been about 7 years since I've had any practice in the art of loving another brother, wanting to call him my own – that's what I've been going through. I fell in love with a man who told me from the beginning that his heart belonged to someone else, but that didn't stop me from deluding myself into believing that we had something to build on – something with a future. I lost control, I've cried, I've even been jealous, but throughout this experience one thing has been apparent: I'm highly aware of what I want in a man and what I want a relationship to feel like. Just listening to those two things have helped me to learn from this. The moments when I haven't listened have allowed me to be desperate enough to just accept whatever I'd been given.
So, today, it is over. We have shared my bed for the last time. I'm trying not to let the hurt eclipse the good times that we've shared. Now I'm waking from this virtual marriage that I've lived in for the past month and facing the reality of my man (or men) being somewhere out there. posted by Donald Andrew Agarrat @ 9:00 AM [ e : w ]