Wednesday, January 9 shouts out to Shayne, and yo, u 2 Donald, as well as all u peeps in da house.. new style..see if it fits.. to quiet my mind________ sit by running water_________hear the shrill sharp chirp birds______like the random converstations________so much click'n and klatch'n from a distance, he lys curled in fetus position on wet green grass truff; while, she just across the plaza from myself_________holds her face to the light, eyes closed....she's watching the sun. To quiet my mind and spirit, restless for change or distraction nothing remains the same yet nothingness is ever changing, coy in it's disguise as years, or memories. Chocolate and cigarettes cold concret slabs my ass, diminishing sun light between lesbians holding hands..(we never did dat, home) the coolness__________colder moves my ass to wood.. warmer viewing church from plaza water's edge, sitting higher up time is a lover_______unforgiving, uncompromising, unflinching; hard thinking when cold permeates? sudden anxieties (wit out the aid of my purple pill) self inflicted (he still works coffee, i wonder if he still works u?) "....blaaaaaaaaaaaack is the color_________________ of my true loves hair...." test'n wounds and scar tissue.. i'm not without feelings, a red jay among black birds, andy, andy can i come to china town wit u? cause jimmy's dun gone over the rainbow. (Andy Bey N-Coded Music NC-4223-2 ; Jimmy Scott Milestone MCD9314-2)
I ended last year by teaching people how to treat me. For me, that guaranteed a New Year spent treating myself with the regard and opulent love that I try so desperately to bestow upon others. So far, so good; I've been throwing things out, listing some things that I want to accomplish and initiating some of those things. I have a lot of hope for this year. My birthday is 2/22/2002 - doesn't that just LOOK good? *grin!* posted by Donald Andrew Agarrat @ 10:00 AM [ e : w ]
Tuesday, January 8 Life is funny. The kind of funny that makes you trip, then lights a cig and beins to chuckle mockingly. Sometimes its just a very awkward joke at which that you have no other choice but to laugh, even though you are not sure why.
New Years Eve, I found myself on the phone all the way until the ball had officially dropped and, in addition to being the New Year here on the East Coast, it was probably January in Texas before we hung up the phone. The first phone conversation with a possible romantic interest is always interesting. Most times it tends to be more interesting than anything else that happens between me and the gentleman after that point. In this case, it was proved not so. 2002 began with romance. There is no telling where it will end.
Randolph, I really enjoy your posts. Thank you for so candidly sharing parts of yourself with us. I don't want to seem like an unappreciative voyeur or something (lol.) And someone mentioned Rachelle Ferrell earlier--she's one of my favorite living musicians today.
Peace and Love to all!!! S posted by Shayne F @ 5:28 PM [ e : w ]
Monday, January 7 yesterday, i bought the following music: Rashan Roland Kirk-Volunteered Slavery, Dianah Washington--Bitter Earth, Charles Mingus--Blues, Lords of Acid--If u aren't on one, get one and Lemon-D--B Boys revenge; i think the list speaks for me quite clearly, there was one or two other artist i got yesterday, like Coltrane wit's Bessies Blues, the new Del La Soul, i forget the title, and a single titled 'Our Daddies Music' but i cann't remember the artist.. music is my main salvation..both the music of others and my own..though i have as of yet to find an outlet(audience) for my music..i'm a big fan of Green Velvet and Plastic Man so my sound is kinda in their direction..maybe a bit of DJ Spooky to the measure as well; i also, like the german punk, tech, house sound, like Funkstrom, or alec Empire and the likes of Matoe & Matmos; so i think my sound is influenced by these artist and sounds..a sort of 'free form' jazz punk/queer black/blues ting' if that makes any kind of musical reference for ya..at all. This bro calling himself Toussiant Saint Negritude is the closest ting to my attitude that i've heard on the independent label, though his music is a bit more controlled than i would have it, I have remixed a bit of him..waiting to catch up wit him again to do something together..would be nice.. Music is my salvation this 2002, i don't think i could care for anything as much as i do for creating, playing or listening to music.. the rest of the world don't make sense to me.. though the notion of notoriety has me tripping esp., cause it seems we all want to be stars sooner than regular guys..speaking on my personal experience with guys lately.. i'm happy to be regular..which don't say much about my ambition..but then, ambition is a subjective thing really, I define for myself where i want to get to and how long i want to stay. So just cause i don't want to be noticed by everyone, doesn't mean I don't develope my craft, skill, style what ever.. I think i walked right past my ex yesterday, i think..i looked right at the man..but i was strangely unsure..neither of us spoke..so i guess we both just ignored each other..which is sad..giving how few black men connect in SF..and sadder given how much we said we loved each other .. this is a pattern i want to stop.. hating the last guy i slept with..i don't like this condition.. well, i won't go there..new year's night was me, drunk, climbing into bed (alone) about 11:40 PM and out cold by 12: so I didn't really go out with a big bang..I had been with a friend or two..curised a couple of bars..in the one black fag bar, which is one of them places, blacks go to get picked up by white men..I took my woman friend Lori; we had a drink together, smoked a bit, than R.G. pulled up and I talked old times wit him..till he started emotional crap about his changing queer ways..and started holding my hand, and touching on me, enough, to make Lori think she should leave us alone..I got up quickly and left with Lori, esp., since R.G., was pulling one of them..love u when i see u.. moves..and I hadn't talked with this bro in damn near 6 years..O.K., He's a good looking black man..to have so much 'issue' over being queer..but then he is like most..right? posted by randolph webb @ 1:05 PM [ e : w ]
Thus far the New Year has been treating me good ... As I mentioned in my last entry I was giving myself the opportunity to allow love back into my life. For awhile there I had a hit out on love and was willing to drop kick love whenever I saw it. I decided to ring in the New Year by celebrating with some good friends of mine at a local club. We danced the night away and exhaled at the strike of midnight ... posted by Antonio Gaskin @ 1:04 AM [ e : w ]
